Archive for February, 2011

Ummm, 30 Day Challenge. Right.

You know, I never said that this 30 Day Challenge was going to be 30 consecutive  days. And since this is my blog, I make up the rules. So there. I haven’t forgotten about the Challenge. Honest.

 Okay, so here we go. I’m back on board and actually prepared for once! Brittany FTW!

Day 4: A Picture of Your Night:

This is a totally honest and real view of a typical night in the Fawcett household. We all come home frmo our jobs and want to  do nothing but relax. So, Usually this means watching shows or movies on the internet, playing games on our ipods, playing records, or being serenaded by Chad on the piano/guitar/banjo/violin/accordian/harmonica or whatever instrument he chooses for the night. Around 9pm, we make hot drinks. And we talk… or don’t, play with the dogs, and chill out. Night is my favorite time of day. I love just hanging out with the family. It’s nice. Comforting. Peaceful. We all are enough alike that this type of night perfectly suits us all.

So that is my night. I’ll leave you with some more pictures of a typical night because, really… it’s just so nice.

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There you go. Enjoy, and have a good night.

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Special Needs

This has nothing to  do with the 30 Day Challenge, and that’s okay because I’ve already lost on doing it in 30 consecutive days. Go me!

This post is a special one, that’s very dear to my heart.  My brother. So it should first be made *very* clear that my family is close. Very, very close. There’s 7 of us, just in my immediate family. That’s not even counting in-laws or nieces or nephews. My parents had 5 children.  you would think that would be a recipe for all manner of chaos and dissention growing up, but it wasn’t like that at all. My mother and father have some stellar organizational skills. My dad was in the Navy, my Mom was raised in a military family. And they both came from large families, so they knew what they were doing by having all of us. The organization and structure that my parents ran our house with gave birth to a very calm, relaxing environment. This helped us siblings to be able to develop strong, deep bonds with each other that have lasted until today. The in-laws always say that they can tell when their spouse is talking to one of the other “Fawcett” kids, because you can physically hear it in their voice. We all love each other. Deeply.  It’s nothing wierd or unnatural; it’s just what happens when you’re raised in the good home like we were.

That all being said, we all also feel the pain of each other pretty acutely.  And that is what’s going on right now. My brother Chad is one of those people who it took a littel longer for him to figure out what he liked to do, and therefore wanted to do with his life. I’m still doing that, so there’s no judgement from me. Unfortunately, what Chad likes to do is Produce music. He’s really good at it, honestly. More importantly, he loves it. He’s a really good musician, with enough natural talent to make me sick. And while he enjoys writing and recording his own stuff, he doesn’t want to become a professional musician. He wants to record other musicians, because the joy in recording is all in the process for him. It’s not about him becoming famous or having a ton of people hear his stuff. It’s the process of mixing and organizing tracks and vocals into one collaborative piece of beautiful auditory art.

so what’s so unfortunate about this? Well, you can’t become a producer overnight. Not at all. Not when you are someone who has no connection to the music buisness. He’s doing his best to get himself “out there”, or as best as he can in this area… but there’ s only so far working sound for local venues and church can get you. So needless to say, Chad’s been feeling a bit discouraged lately. He really wants to be working in a career, and he wants that career to be in producing music. But how do you get there? What should he do? He isn’t quite sure… and I have no idea.

So… if you stumble unto this blog and have any ideas, pass them to me. Or if you would just like to pray for wisdom, guidance, or just patience… please do. He could use some help in this.

I love this brother of mine, and am proud and slightly jealous of his musical abilities. There’s nothing that I would love to see than for Chad to finally realize his dream. But the hardests part of a dream is waiting for it to start, right?

Just keep Chad in your prayers.

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Day 3

Day 3: Post a picture of the cast from your favorite tv show

This one is also a hard one. Growing up, my family did not have cable tv. My parents just never felt that they *needed* it.  We also didn’t have any gaming systems, and did not get a computer until I was in the 3rd grade, and then the internet when I was in the 5th grade. My parents just felt that things like gaming systems, computers, and especially the internet would cause more problems than benefits. More than that, they knew that those things would be distractions.  So, I really didn’t watch much tv. TV really didn’t become part of my life until after all my brothers and sisters starting leaving for college. It was then that my mother started watching tv every night, mostly to add some  noise to the suddenly much quieter house. We still didn’t have cable, though… so we stuck with the 5 channels our antennea could pick up. We called it “farmer vision”.

So, needless to say, I really didn’t get exposed to tv until college. Even then, I can’t *really* say that I liked any one particular show. I watched what everyone else was watching in the livingroom/ common area. Stuff like: One Tree Hill, Grey’s Anatomy, The O.C., The Hills, Gilmore Girls, The Office, and ocassionaly CSI, the one show I was familiar with.  Eventually, I was exposed to netflix and megavideo, and the joys of internet viewing of network tv shows. This was highly educational to me, media-wise. I began to seek out names of shows that I recognized. What I discovered was that I was a nerd. Truly. The shows I kept coming back to… and keep coming back to… tended to be either syfy action/comedy shows or crime dramas. So yea. Let it be known that I don’t watch any of the following all too consistently, but the following are the shows that I would call my “favorites”:

Criminal Minds:

Okay. I admit it… I have seen every episode. Not kidding.  I *really* discovered this show my last semester of college, and watched seasons 1-5 in about 9 weeks. I know… I *know*!!

Good show. Love that MGG.  But really, before it was Criminal Minds, it was the original CSI. And I even went through a 20/20 and 48 hours faze. What a nerd, I know. But no worries, it gets worst.

Doctor Who:

Who doesn’t like a good syfy comedy/drama? Well, a lot of people actually. Just so you all know? Doctor Who is considered a “classy” syfy show to be addicted to. So there. At least it isn’t Stargate (any of them). I must be honest and say that I did go through a Starfate faze. Luckily? It didn’t last very far after Stargate SG-1. And I’ve never seen Stargate Universe, so I can’t *really* be called a Stargate fan. Anymore.  I’ve also seen all of the Firefly series. And every season of X-Files. So, really?  I’m a bonifide modern syfy nerd. It’s okay, I’ve accepted it.

And finall, the last “favorite” of mine:


Yup. Who doesn’t like a good serial killer? Honestly, I’m just a huge fan of most of the stuff showtime puts out simply because the shows are catchhy and full of sarcastic humor which I *adore*. But honestly? I can’t explain this one. Not at all. I watched most of the first season of Burn Notice with my brother-in-law… but Dexter? This was all me. And I love this show. I don’t know why.

Runners up would be So You Think You Can Dance and The Sing-off.  But not American idol. Never that.

So there ya go. I know, the rules say “your favorite show”. As in singular… but I break the rules. Always.

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Day 2

I’m just such a trend-setter. Kidding, mostly. But the friend I stole this idea off of has decided to actually blog this herself! (Don’t worry about how that works out exactly.) Audra, I love you and you can get “all up in my grill” anytime you want, you doll!

so let’s get on with it. The real reason I’m here is perhaps for one of my favorite posts, and surprisingly a hard one for me to chose a subject for. Basically?  To steal a line from Jenny, the Bloggess: I have friends inspite of myself. So after much deliberation on whether it should be a friend or family member, here is Day 2 of the 30 Day Challenge.

Day 2:  A picture of you and the person you have been closest to the longest.

Bethany & Me in college (4 years ago)

Bethany. Beth Annie. Beej. BJ.  She’s probably one of the coolest people I’ll ever know, and she would never ever believe that.  Bethany and I met at the church where I grew up. My mom was the youth pastor, and my dad was the soundman. So was her dad. My parents were big in the music stuff . So where her parents. Add to that the fact that the church was rinky-dink and most of the people who attended where a part of one of the five main families, and it can be assumed that we all knew each other pretty well without actually being friends-per-say. But that all changed when Bethany got to the age where she started to notice guys. Let’s say around 12? And I just happen to have a brother who is a year older than Bethany. And he’s a musician. And he’s hysterical. And he never went more than a couple weeks without a girlfriend, and when he broke up with girls, he did it in a way that made them feel like he was doing them a favor therefore they loved him all the more for it. Or so it seemed. My brother was *the* guy to like. So, as usually happens when a totally awesome guy has a younger sister, I started to be treated quite nicely be the older girls. Which for nerdy, annoying little me, was about the greatest thing ever.  So that’s when me and Bethany first started being nice to each other. In junior high, I was incredibly annoying and emotional. I had very few friends, most of whom I have no idea how they put up with me. It was hard, even Bethany would say, to be friends with me. But some of the older girls were especially mean about it,and would talk about me behind my back. Bethany said that any time this happened, she would feel bad for me and so decide to still be nice to me.

This all was completely unknown to me. Mostly. So I thought Bethany was the greatest thing ever. Somewhere amist all of this, Bethany and I started to become real friends. We talked it over, and we agreed upon the fact that neither of us really know when it started… but we found ourselves become close. Tight. Almost inseperable. I stopped being so emotional and annoying. She stopped having to pity me and actually grew to like me. It’s like magic happened.

Whatever the cause, we were close. She entered college 3 years before me, but stayed an extra year and a half. So, we spent two full years of college together. It was great. She was there for me during some really difficult times, and I repaid her by being there through some tough breakups. We called each other sisters.

Bethany was the first person I ever told *everything* to. All my little secrets, all my fears. She’s still the one person who truly knows *everything* about me. Most of all, she has seen me at my absolute worst and my best… and she still things I’m a good person and slightly cool.  I thank God for her, and for giving her the strength to stick it out with me. She’s one of those people who I feel actually understands me. Really understands me. She calls it “speaking Brittany”. She also happens to be one of the few people from that church who genuinely loves my mother. That’s saying a lot, since that church did it’s best to ruin, break down, and ultimately destroy my Mother, since the alternative was to take responsibility for their own actions and why would they do that when they could just drive the youth pastor out?

She, in herself, is a loving and grace-filled person by nature. She always seeks to find the good in someone else, and to encourage that. She is an incredible listener, and she knows the best ways to make me smile after I’ve sat on her floor and cried for 20 minutes. She’s loyal, and never gossips or says anything bad about someone else. Ever. She is gentle, yet always up for exploring the Creek, going swimming in the lake in the middle of January, or going on a motorcycle trip with her man. She’s the kind of person who is so very valuable, yet undervalued and not seen by waay to many people. To know her is to love her. Truly.

Sadly, almost an entire nation seperates Bethany from me. We rely on sporatic, 3 hour long phone datesand facebook messages to keep in touch. She’s an amazing friend; and no matter how long it’s been since we last talked, we always pick up right where we left off.  She is someone who is very important to me, someone I look up to greatly, and someone I love deeply. 

So, here’s to a 9 year friendship with someone who has shown me better than anyone else what it means to be a good friend. I love you, Bethany Jean!

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A Challenge

So  I recently discovered this thing called The 30 Day Challenge. I don’t know if it’s an official thing or not, so there is a possibility that I’m illegally plagarising someone else’s work. (Just a sec. Checking to make sure I’m not doing anything illegal.)

Okay, well it appears that no one knows where it came from. I plead innocent to everything. Also? I invoke the 5th Amendment if asked anything about it, and am looking into the laws that deal with public domains and uncopyrighted materials, just in case.

Anyways. So the 30 Day Challenge.  I can’t really explain it, but it is almost like a 30 day public journaling using pictures to talk about important people, places, and memories in your life. Reading through it on my friend’s site, it seems to have the potential to be a very good, revealing, and slightly therapuetic thing to do. So I’ve decided to do it.  This is my 30 Day Challenge.

Day 1: Post a picture of yourself along with 15 facts about who you are, what you love, and important things to you. 

Over a year ago.

(I’m going to try to focus on defining facts/information instead of favorite colors and stuff.)

Fact 1: I was adopted at birth, from one cousin to another.

Fact 2: As can be inferred from above, my family greatly values family. As do I. My family is very important to me; and I believe that you can never fully understand or know someone without knowing their family, as well. Family shapes and guides our development.

Fact 3: I love God very much, but am not a very good Christian. I don’t feel as though God can be so easily defined, or so easily known.

Fact 4: I do not think that man is basically good or basically evil. The tendency for either is found in man in equal proportions. Good men can unwittingly do or allow horrible things to happen, while Bad men can unwittingly save a life. We are all both broken and holy.

Fact 5: I believe in grace and forgiveness like some people believe in religion, democracy, or patriotism. I believe in the power that is unleased when we choose to believe and accept that we all are human and can mess up, and therefore chose to still believe in the people around us and even ourselves despite the mistakes made and hurts caused.

Fact 6: I am the weirdest, most complex, and hardest person you will ever try to figure out. Or so I’ve been told.

Fact 7: It’s one of my deepest desires to be understood, known, and figured out. I want to truly know the people around me, and I want them to truly know me. And I want us all to be able to accept and love each other anyway.

Fact 8: Music does something to me on a cellular level that nothing else could ever reach, unless you add God to it. Then, I am ruined in the power of that mix.

Fact 9: I tend to come across as either dumb, passive,sweet  and extremely submissive or cold, sarcastic, blunt and extremely abbrasive. Not usually anything in between. This is do to my complete lack of ability to function socially. You’ve been warned.

Fact 10:  I always feel alone. Always. I never seem to be able to feel truly connected to anyone around me. In contrast, I tend to be the person that people I don’t know come up to and tell me all about their lives. Especially the things that really should only be told to counselors. I also tend to “affect” people’s lives even though I had no idea that I was even friends with the people.

Fact 11: Hugs are a neccesity to me. I can’t explain it. I am not normally a touchy, emotional person… but there are times when I *need* a hug, and will punch you in the mouth if you try to talk me through or fix whatever’s going on just to make you shut up and hug me. I can figure things out on my own. All I need from others is a hug. Thanks.

Fact 12: I have a hard time giving up on friends, but also have a hard time starting new friendships. So I’m untrusting, yet intensely loyal. Yea, it doesn’t make sense, either.

Fact 13: I am your biggest fan, and my own worst critic. Always. I tend to expect little in others and everything in myself.

Fact 14: I truly believe that the greatest life to live is one that quietly spends every moment disappearing into the lives of others. There is no better way to live than to spend your every moment giving of yourself for the sake of the ones whom you love. To give of yourself until you disappear completely. To be unnoticed, yet complete neccesary. I want to be invisible.

Fact 15: I may be a narcassist who also hates themselves. Use this post for reference.

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