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Five Days

I used to not be a morning person. And I never used to eat breakfast. Ma used to say that I was like a zombie in the morning… I didn’t talk, I had no expression on my face, and it would take me a while to process stuff. I did not like mornings.

I realized today that one of the biggest things I’m going to miss once I leave is mornings. Specifically, mornings with my Ma. Ma believes in mornings, and eating breakfast. On the days that she doesn’t work, she always gets up, comes to the kitchen for a cup of tea or instant coffee, and then goes back to her room to watch the main portion of the morning news show. By this point, I’m up and moving around. So, she comes back to the kitchen and starts to make breakfast while I prepare and make some *real* coffee. (I usually make a whole pot and ingest it by noon.) Then we sit down to breakfast, and talk. Our best talks are in the morning. We talk about our plans for the day, and things that are going on and random stuff. Like yesterday, we started talking about Grandparents and Great Grandparents, and the next thing we knew it was noon and we had started a family webpage on ancestry.com.  It is really the best way to start the day. We will sit for a couple hours and talk, and when it gets to the point that we both start feeling guilty for just sitting there in our pjs talking about what we had to do that day instead of actually doing it, then we take care of the dishes and go about our daily duties. It’s my favorite me&Ma time. And it’s something that I’m really going to miss. It’s something I’m always going to cherish.

Because things probably aren’t going to be exactly like they are right now ever again. I know that sounds so very sad, but really it’s a good thing. Life is all about seasons. As the Bible says: “There is a time and a season for everything under the sun.” I totally get that. And I’m excited for what lies ahead… for the new season and adventure that I am moving into. But I would be remiss to not cherish and mourn the season that is ending right now. Some sadness is definitely appropriate. Cherishing and locking something into your memory is a bittersweet process. It’s the mix of pain and warmth that etches specific moments into your heart forever. It’s something to embrace for now, but not linger in later. Lingering in the things from a past season will only result in depression and deadness, the inability to transition into the new season correctly. There comes a point when we must turn our head back to the horizon and the future, leaving the past behind us where it belongs.

But right now… now is the season for remembering. For random, last minute kisses and hugs… for last visits… for last breakfasts and lingering around the table with a cup of coffee with your Ma. It’s good. It’s something we both will need to have in remembrance later.

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